Sex! It’s a topic that normally doesn’t surface at your casual bible study or when you’re with other believers. Actually, there are many women of God who shy away from the topic because they’re afraid of sounding too worldly. It may surprise you that I’m even writing about this, but I felt led to do something a little different. It is needed.
So what if I told you that God wants us to talk about sex? Nooo honey, I don’t mean in the freaky, X-rated sort of way but in a rhetorical sense. Such as, why do we need to save ourselves for marriage? What’s so wrong with having casual sex partners? What’s wrong with premarital sex? Most importantly, what does God say about sex? That’s what this post is all about. So whether you are still pure wondering how to stay clean for Christ, or someone who has struggled with a sex addiction and trying to turn away for good, or whether you just want to know how to approach it in a Godly way, this article is for you! So let’s talk about sex ladies (after all, sex is discussed in the Bible and any topic covered in there is worth teaching, discussing, and learning)!
1. Why is premarital sex sinful?
As born-again believers, we are to devote our bodies to God as well as our lives and minds. We simply cannot give into lust in any way because it pollutes us. Sexual immorality defiles our minds, hearts, and our bodies. When we engage in premarital sex, we plant seeds of impurity and pave a path leading to even more sexual sin. Also when you have sexual intercourse with a man–whether he’s your first or your husband–you form a strong bond with him. You may forever feel linked with him for the rest of your life. This is called a soul tie and it forms when two people have sex.
The Bible doesn’t use the term “soul tie,” but it is mentioned when God talks about two souls being “knit together” and “becoming one flesh.” Soul ties can be both beautiful and destructive. A beautiful soul tie is when a married man and woman have sexual intercourse and create a special bond with one another. This bond enables them to only have eyes and desire to please one another and never any other man or woman. A destructive soul tie happens when two random, unwed sex partners hook up. Even in this case, especially if it’s a first-time experience, two souls are still being knit together but in an unhealthy way. This is destructive because it destroys one’s purity and leads to sexual immorality, lust, and having more sex partners. We must turn away from this and avoid any lurking temptations. This brings me to my next couple of points.
2. Know how to abstain from sex in a sex-crazed world.
Sex is increasingly being promoted around us: secular music, social media, movies and television, even some food commercials are promoting it! Also women who dress provocatively and pose nude just to make a statement or get ‘likes’ also send out an unhealthy message. This feeds our generation with the belief that sex is acceptable and entertaining. How is a woman of God to keep herself unaffected by all of this sexual stimuli?
Practice purity. Ask God to help you abstain from any sexual sin and detoxify your atmosphere of any sexual stimuli. This means turning off the television, deleting all sexually explicit music from your playlists, stay away from people who have R-rated conversations. Replace it all with the word of God and things that glorify Him, for example listening to worship music in place of sexual songs. Life fully for God! Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you with every move and every decision you make and your worldly desires will diminish (Galatians 5:16). People will look at you strange for resisting sexual sin so well. Let them! Remember as children of the Most High, we are not of this world!
3. Know how to handle sexual temptation in a Godly way.
We must be in control of our bodies and remember that they are the Temple of God. Do you want to defile that temple? Do you want to dirty up the place that God is living in? Of course not! We want to honor God with our whole bodies. With that in mind when we encounter sexual temptation of any kind, we should remember Joseph from Genesis. It may be humorous to think about it but this guy literally fled from sexual sin! Potiphar’s wife approached Joseph asking him to sleep with her. But Joseph resisted day after day until one day came when Joseph became fed up and ran away from the sexually eager woman without saying a word! (Gen. 39:7-12)
What I’m saying here, lovely, is that sometimes we just gotta flee…run away! Or at least walk away. It may look silly in man’s eyes, but in God’s eyes we are overcomers. Just like Joseph, sometimes sexual temptation tirelessly taps us on our shoulders trying to lure us in and it may follow us for days, even longer. We have to resist over and over again and pray for the strength we need to not fall in that temptation. So when a sexual song comes on the radio, turn it off. When people around you are having vile sex talk, walk away from the conversation. If you’re surrounded by posters that awaken lustful desires, snatch them down!
Here are some other helpful verses:
“Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” ~1 Corinthians 6:18-20
“God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.” ~1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
4. There is more than one way to engage in sexual sin.
Many of us may think that having casual sex partners or wild premarital sex are the only ways to engage in sexual sin. It is not. There are actually many ways that even the most innocent person can fall guilty of this. Some examples include:
- Watching porn
- Reading erotic literature
- lusting after a celebrity crush
- listening to obscene songs
- homosexuality/ lesbianism
These practices all plant unwanted seeds that grow into sexual sin if we’re not careful. We must know what NOT to get into and it’s best to not get involved with these activities!
“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” ~1 Peter 5:8
5. Sex is beautiful, but when you’re married with the right person.
So can sex be a good thing? Yes, but be careful! It’s not about what we think is right, but what God knows is right. God condones sex as long as it’s after marriage with the one He has sent for you. This way, you and your spouse only have eyes for one another and God. At that point it is a sin to even think about having intercourse with another person (Matthew 5:27-30)!
So there you have it 🙂 Please don’t take this all from me. I encourage you to open your bibles yourselves and converse with God about sex and how you should approach it as a true believer. May the Holy Spirit continue to guide you!
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